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Before we jump into aftercare, let's set some records straight about BDSM. While it stands for bondage and discipline, BDSM isn’t a violent and harmful practice, as society has made it seem. It mainly involves sensory and power play or simply pleasurable pain.
Whether you're new to the kink world or an experienced player, aftercare is probably the most important aspect besides the act. In this article, we’ll delve into all aspects of aftercare, including its importance and how it can help you mitigate any impending effects an intense scene can have on your body and mind. Let’s get into it!
Aftercare Explained
Aftercare can be described as any emotional and physical caretaking that precedes sexual encounters, such as a BDSM session. Remember that most BDSM plays involve roleplays that take you into a trance of fantasies; thus, the aspect of aftercare is important to bring each other back to reality.
Also, there might be some physical pain during play, necessitating partners to have some time afterwards. In most cases, it's usually a deep reflective conversation to digest what just happened.
Ideally, although the play might be over, it's not finished until aftercare happens.
Who Needs Aftercare?
More often than not, the submissive partner needs more attention and care than the dominant one. However, we highly recommend that it goes both ways. Having it both ways plays a significant role in openness and, thus, deeper intimacy.
Do I Really Need Aftercare?
This is a question we get a lot of times. Many partners don’t feel like they need that part of aftercare. While this might be okay, remember that BDSM is a powerful play, and while it may not seem all intense, the body might need some psychological response to adapt to the intensity.
If you're the submissive partner, you will likely be sore from heavy punishments and uncomfortable positions. At the same time, you might be suffering from mental and emotional fatigue, confusion, and disconnect from your partner.
All these reasons are why we firmly insist on aftercare to ensure that you don’t lose that bond with your partner.
So, What Does Aftercare Look Like?
Aftercare hits differently for each person. But generally, it involves any kind gesture that will make both partners feel good. A deep conversation discussing the just concluded sex play and how it made you feel is a good start.
For the really intense and physical plays, caring for possible wounds and injuries is sure proper care. More examples include;
· Replenishment with water or your favourite drink.
· Physical contact such as spooning or cuddling
· Showering together or beauty routines
· Relaxing activities such as colouring.
· Watching a movie
· A comfortable nap.
In Closing
After all, aftercare isn’t that complicated. We recommend communicating with your partner to understand better what they like.
Side note: it's important to do a follow-up. While many partners might be okay to process everything, aftercare follow-up will help you better understand your partner.
Are you a fan of BDSM? What do you think is proper aftercare? Tell us in the comments.
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